To be honest, I can’t remember it ever panning out. There is always someone striking out in the back of the mind. Always a guy hitting .187 in there. Always a guy letting routine ground balls go past. Always a Billy Buckner. Always a Jim Joyce. Always someone’s fault. Let me give you an example. …
If the United States engages Iran in any way (which is looking like an inevitability) I will have lost all faith in my government, all hope in peace, and all confidence the United Nations. Wait a minute, I never had confidence in the UN. All it has done is looked pretty – been a nice …
I took this phone picture wile waiting for a key to reenter my hotel room. Greektown Casino, Detroit.
I want 2011 back. Matter of fact, I want the last ten years back. Here’s what we’ll do. We will make our own webspaces and use facebook less. We will stop looking into our cell-phones so much. We will cook dinner and invite people over more often. We’ll ask more from our government, instead of letting …
All the peace has been written. There are too many things to sob about and fight over, too many burning trucks and people waving flags and children holding Kalashnikovs for us to sit around and waste our time writing about it. It gets done. The terrible parts of human nature need no writers to encourage them, or …
Drowsiness, diarrhea, vomiting, dry-mouth, fatigue, dizziness, UFO sightings, stomach pains, circus visions, coma, alcoholism, sudden interest in pop-culture, looking at cups of water, upper-leg soreness, abdominal pain, potlucks, mild to moderate amnesia, hypertension, belief in immortality, night-visions (including the appearance of mythological/historical characters such as Thor, Richard Pryor, George Washington and the Loch Ness Monster), dehydration, …
When I graduated from high school, I got a Capricorn symbol tattooed on my left breast, packed my car with a few things, cashed a check for two-hundred dollars and drove to the Smoky Mountains to find something I was looking for. I wasn’t looking for anything. I stopped at a motel in southern Ohio. I turned …
On July 4th, 1776, fifty-six men came together and declared themselves and their people free. Among many of their grievances to the King of Britain were the following: He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance. He has affected to …
Ding, dong, the silly little man is dead. ˈded “Mistah Kurtz, he dead.” “He’s dead, Jim.” I couldn’t think of a cuter, cuddlier oppressor than this one. From his personal downing of passenger jets, to his over-sized glasses, Saddam’s mustache had nothing on this tubby little ball of Korean butter. Even the way he looked at things was cute. Perhaps …
I’m close-to-officially changing my first name to Tomás. My people were potato farmers. They farmed only one kind of potato. My people were also cherry-pickers who grew corn before they picked cherries. They made a lot of things out of corn. The potato farmers got sick and had to leave their country. The corn-farmer inside …