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November 12, 2012

Best Facebook Apps of 2012

Enjoy this list of top Facebook apps for 2012 while I go hang myself in the Starbucks bathroom.

1. Pinterest: Discover, collect, and share inspiration with your friends. Also, show your friends how earth-shattering your neuroses are, and flood their newsfeeds with tedious bullshit. It’s a good thing to exhibit how unoriginal your ideas are!

2. Spotify: Let your friends see what music you are playing on Spotify. Show them every fucking song you’ve listened to in the last month, including all those Ke$ha songs you listened to last Wednesday night when you came home drunk from the bar and stalked your highschool sweetheart’s profile for three hours. Also, be sure to let your friends know that you listened to “Only Time” by Enya thirteen times in a row.

3. Words with Friends: Rather play scrabble online? Insert this app into your facebook sphere and watch the fun come trickling in. Words with Friends also gives you something to talk about at work. Also, it’s a great way to not play real Scrabble with real people!

4. Farmville 2: Make a virtual farm and bug the fuck out of everyone who hasn’t already unsubscribed from your status updates. DaveP grew twenty fucking tomatoes this week? Linda Schwartz bought ten fake acres!  It’s a fake farm. Make a real one, or ride a fucking bike. Do anything else.

5. Solitaire Blitz: Thousands of hours of fun await you! Instead of clicking the “solitaire” button on your computer, clog your Facebook page with this ageless, mindless card game. Really folks, you don’t need an app for this. If you need an app for this, call me at 555-1234 and I bring a sledgehammer over to fix your computer.

Stay tuned to TOMLAVERTY DOT NET for more things you shouldn’t do. In the meantime, subscribe to my posts on Facebook!

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