Once-Smoked Chicken Salad

Spatchcock a 4-5 lb chicken and season with salt, pepper, non-smoked paprika, garlic, etc. Your bird, your rub, but don’t go crazy. Don’t lose your fucking mind, there’s more salt to come.

Smoke at 275 degrees Fahrenheit for 2-2.5 hours over hickory or until internal temp is 165.

After bird is rested for 15-20 minutes, remove breast meat and put in fridge until cooled (use dark as well if you want but this recipe is for just the breasts).

*optional: after setting the breast aside to cool, stand over sink and eat the drumsticks and thighs like a fucking animal.

Let that white meat cool, or you’ll end up with oily chicken sludge.

The salad:

  • 1/4 cup mayo
  • 2 tsp white Modena vinegar (or ACV)
  • I tbsp safflower or sunflower oil
  • 4-7 pickled jalapeño rings diced.
  • 1 tbsp pickled jalapeño brine.
  • 2 stalk celery diced
  • 2 green onions sliced (julienne the green parts of you want I GUESS)
  • 2 tsp NON-smoked paprika (bird’s already smoked. Don’t fuck up your smoke with other smoke)
  • Pinch of black pepper and salt (depending on how over/under-salted your bird is)

Roughly cube the cooled chicken breasts and add to mixing bowl with celery, onions and jalapeño.

Mix or shake mayo, vinegar, jalapeño brine, paprika, salt and pepper. I like to shake it because it burns 2-3 calories. Let sauce sit for about ten minutes. Shake again.

Toss it all up with a spatula, or a spoon. Pat salad down in the bottom of bowl. Evenly distribute that gloriously smoked chicken into the juice and cover with overpriced plastic wrap. Chill overnight.

Serve on toasted Spatz bread. Garnish with jalapeño ring and cilantro.

  • Or serve between crustless white bread with hard-boiled egg like an Italian tramezzini.
  • Or serve on lightly fried flour tortilla triangles and garnish with thinly sliced avocado, lime and Tajin.
  • Or eat the whole bowl of chicken salad with a spoon while watching Star Trek Voyager.
  • Or lightly slather some saltines with melted butter, bake at 400 until golden brown and spoon a dollop of that shit onto the crackers and garnish with your own drool as it enters your facial orifice.
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