Six Options for Election Night 2016


Option #1

  1. Watch election results on television.


Option #2

  1. Watch reruns of Star Trek: Voyager on Netflix.
  2. Contemplate on whether to continue watching Star Trek: Voyager or to go to sleep.
  3. Eat ice cream and popcorn.
  4. Continue watching Star Trek: Voyager.
  5. Wake up naked on couch.


Option #3

  1. Write your own name into ballot.
  2. Rent room at nearest Curry’s Motel.
  3. Drink gin and destroy television after 270 electoral votes are counted for one candidate.


Option #4

  1. Jump from cliff with height of 30′ or more.


Option #5

  1. Call smarter friend and ask for advice.
  2. Vote for suggested candidate.
  3. Go to bed early.
  4. Have a confident and productive Wednesday at work.


Option #6

  1. Select either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.
  2. Write your name clearly.
  3. Hand your vote to the voting machine.
  4. Go to nearest diner and order sandwich with chips and pickle.
  5. Be aware that tuna salad may contain mercury.
  6. Light cigarette and smoke.
  7. Shower.
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